t1: Did you know that there is a dangerous new surgery has been developed in the past few years called BrightOcular surgery? The procedure in short consists of the implantation of a silicon iris implant that is placed by making an incision in the cornea and placed on top of the iris and lens. This surgery is done when the patient is awake and takes 15 minutes to insert for one eye.
t3: This ‘ingenious surgery’ is highly dangerous to a person's vision however. This surgery is in fact so dangerous that only a handful of countries offer such a procedure. In the United states, the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) does not approve of the procedure due to the fact that many have been left with catastrophic injuries to the eye.
t4: But really how bad can these complications be, beauty is pain right? These complications include:
Corneal lacerations (that can permanently damage your real iris)
Partial or total loss of vision
Elevated pressure inside the eye that can lead to glaucoma
Injury to the cornea that would cause vision issues and in some cases leads to the need for a corneal transplant.
Beauty maybe pain in some instances but it should NEVER compromise your health.
t6: Still not convinced, here is a photo of the damage caused by these implants. As shown in the photo below, the patient had the implant removed due to complications (in this case iris and corneal damage). We see ‘holes’ in the iris meaning that that part of it is now gone and unresponsive to light. As a result of the implant the patient above is left with damaged eyesight and a misshapen pupil.
Interesting, and I like the pictures (and the cites!)
A couple of comments
- Can you work into that first paragraph that it is dangerous. Initially it almost sounds like something you are promoting, but then you get to the dangers in the second paragraph
- probably don't need the names of the countries where it is legal
This is so interesting and I feel like the picture you added really shows the kind of damage this surgery can do. Just keep in mind that you will have to split it up when you make it a twitter post.
Nice job! I think it was a good decision to add the dangerous part into the beginning, it made it much more clear where your stance on the issue is and how it is not good for patients. The only thing I might recommend is actually spelling out the acronyms such as US and FDA just for professionalism, but since it is a Twitter post it might not be crucial. Other than that you did amazing!
This is a very interesting and well written post. I really liked how you had a clear beginning, middle, and end because it flowed really nice. Maybe start with a "did you know" question to intrigue followers. Also it might be good to shorten each section since it is a twitter post. I understand that it might be hard since what you have written is already so clear and concise. You might be able to keep what you have and split it into four sections. I am not sure how you might want to post it, but make sure it flows as well as this post does. Great job!
I really loved how you included the pictures. I think it will work really well as a Twitter feed, but I think you might have to cut down some of the sections in order to make it fit as separate twitter posts. This topic is super interesting; nice job!